What Ruins Relationships? 9 Shocking Secrets That May Ruin Your Relationship

May 07, 2013

Even the best relationships can be ruined if certain shocking secrets come to light. Secrets change the foundation of a relationship, causing a partner to mistrust the other. Below are 9 shocking secrets that could ruin an otherwise good relationship.

1. Previous or current marriage to another man or woman

Being married to another woman or man is a secret that will most certainly destroy a relationship. As a couple grows together, the divorcée or divorcé should confide in their partner about past relationships. Especially if the past relationship bears financial obligations. A partner who is separated but still married should also confide in their new partner about the circumstances and upcoming legal obstacles. It is wise to offer this information early on because if the partner finds out later from outside sources, he or she could assume if you keep secrets about relationships then he or she will be the secret next time. Don't let this happen to you by taking precautions such as performing a background check on your partner.

2. A criminal past

Hiding a criminal past ruins trust between two people. Certain sentences have travel and career consequences. You should give your partner information to make an informed decision about their willingness in dealing these consequences. Or else repeated fights will occur and the relationship will sour. Certain charges are violent and while people can change, it is common courtesy to let your partner be the judge of that by sharing a criminal record. Again, a good way to keep this situation from happening to you is to do your homework with a background check before jumping into a serious relationship with both feet.

3. Sex change operation

Nothing would shock a partner much more than a previous sex change operation. This secret is usually kept in fear but one will find that if discussed early on in the relationship, the partner will appreciate the courage it takes to share and also appreciate that you respect them enough to inform. However, a partner who finds out late in the relationship will feel nothing but betrayal. If a partner hides childhood pictures you should be concerned and ask questions.

4. Children from past relationships

Keeping a secret about having a child is always a bad idea. This is the type of secret that will eventually blow up in your face causing irreparable damage. Secret calls, financial payments and mysterious outings with your child could be misconstrued as infidelity. Or your current partner will question your parenting merits towards any future children when the secret is revealed. To avoid this situation you should ask your partner direct questions and then really watch their body language. The answer can sometimes be revealed to a watchful partner.

5. Mental illness

Finding out that your beloved has a mental illness after you get together is a terrible way to learn such important information. Symptoms of depression, bipolar disorder, personality disorder can affect the way couples communicate and lead to a breakdown of the relationship. Symptoms of an eating disorder will cause a partner to be concerned and press the issue instead of supporting the other in therapy or encouraging therapy. An eating disorder comes with insecurities and if a partner is unaware of the cause, a rift in the relationship will form. To avoid this situation you should stay informed of the various symptoms of mental illness and watch for present signs.

6. Financial or credit problems

A secret about financial or credit problems will jeopardize any relationship once the problem affects the other. Remember that marriage will make you jointly liable for your partner's financial obligations. Additionally, credit is crucial to obtaining loans or assets and a partner with poor credit can stand in the way of that. Another common scenario is a partner who faces gambling debt from a bookie. Bookies usually employ harassment to encourage payment and this could put a partner in an unpleasant situation. To avoid this secret one should run a credit check on a potential spouse prior to any legal entanglements. One should also watch the spending habits of your partner to notice any irresponsible behavior. You can even directly ask your partner for their position on financial security.

7. Addictions

Addictions can be hidden from a love interest in the beginning. However, a partner will notice suspicious behavior soon enough. Addictions ranging from nicotine, drugs, prescription medicine to pornography can lead to financial, health and trust issues. Addictions could lead a partner to mentally check out of the relationship and sometimes addictions come in the way of holding a career. These effects would be devastating after moving in together or getting married. To avoid this secret a partner should pay mind to habits of their loved one and ask questions if instincts indicate something is amiss.

8. Sexually transmitted disease

Secrets about having a sexually transmitted disease has grave consequences and will devastate a partner's trust. Some STDs are life threatening or incurable and if transmitted, a partner would find it hard to forgive and move on. Don't become a victim of this secret by asking your partner to see a medical report that proves good health.

9. Sexual orientation

A partner should love all of you and the true version of you. Hiding details about sexual orientation does not allow this to happen which invites an upcoming disaster. When the truth is revealed a partner will question everything they thought they knew. A partner might question your character, if love was ever present or if infidelity ever occurred. To avoid this situation couples should speak about past relationships and sexual orientation upfront.


For couples with normal problems like fighting over the thermostat and who gets to hold the remote control, there are easy solutions. For people keeping secrets, beware because your future looks bleak.

Since the thermostat issue is a very common and solvable problem, theTwovet.com has the answer. The Twovet is a handcrafted, eco-friendly, hypoallergenic comforter perfect for couples. One side is thicker than the other side, letting each individual choose what they want to stay comfortable. Thank goodness some problems are solvable.

Leave a comment

Comments will be approved before showing up.

Twovet Comforter Size Chart
   Width  Length  Fill (thin) Fill (thick)
   Queen  92" 88" 20 ounces 40 ounces
King 107" 92" 24 ounces 48 ounces