How Sleeping In Separate Beds Can Make or Break Your Relationship

March 27, 2013

Recent trends suggest that not everyone is sleeping in the same beds as his or her partner anymore. The vision of a couple from the 1950s getting dressed in their floor-length pajamas while sitting primly in their own beds is somewhat out of date.

With many celebrity couples admitting they sleep in separate beds and some surveys suggesting that sleeping in separate beds is on the rise, it shouldn't be considered too weird that a couple would consider a two bed lifestyle.

Sometimes the way a person sleeps just is not conducive to allowing another person to sleep in a bed beside him or her. Especially during menopause. Hot flashes can be uncomfortable for both parties and sleeping together causes even more body heat. This can even mean that a relationship or marriage will actually suffer due to the sleeping arrangements of a single bed.

Separate beds do not need to be in entirely different rooms and there are ways to be comfortable at night sleeping in one's own bed without seeing a decline in the value and closeness of a relationship.

1. Maintain Physical Contact During The Day

By making sure that a couple keeps in physical contact when they aren't asleep, each person in the relationship is telling the other through touch and attention that love and affection remain even if there are two beds in the home. Like a couple that is in its first stages of infatuation, a focus on physical connection during the day will help a couple to feel an important mental connection with one another that makes being in a relationship comforting each day.

Sitting on the couch together to watch a movie with fingers intertwined, or taking a breather on the porch while sitting next to one another on the swing, are great ways to make sure that a couple remains connected throughout the day.

2. Make Time For Bedtime Talk

Many couples today are busy, and it's hard to find time to sit down without the distractions of teenagers, rambunctious dogs, and all of the regular disturbances that get in the way. Setting time aside before bed to chat will help to reinforce that necessary mental connection between a couple that is so important for maintaining a strong relationship.

Getting caught up in the regular schedule of "sleep, food, and work" can be a difficult thing to handle while in a relationship or marriage and busy families can lose touch with one another during the day. This means that having separate beds can push a couple further apart if they aren't careful. Regular, face-to-face communication becomes even more important when a couple has chosen to sleep apart.

3. Make Time For Intimacy 

The phrase "absence makes the heart grow fonder" can certainly come into play when separate beds are used by a couple and sometimes the sex life of a couple can actually improve due to the natural anticipation factor that can enter into the relationship due to the time spent apart.

Sometimes it's valuable for a couple to schedule their intimate time together even if they share a bed, but it can become increasingly important when the couple sleeps in separate beds or different rooms.

4. Enjoy Fewer Arguments

Hogging the covers at night and being too hot are common complaints between couples who share a bed and often the separation of a couple into different beds will result in much deeper sleep opportunities. Better sleep in turn may reduce the number of arguments a couple might launch into if they are tired and haven't gotten enough shuteye the night before.

If sleeping in separate beds or even separate rooms seems like it would be the only solution for getting a good night's sleep, a couple shouldn't shy away from trying it as there are options for keeping the romance alive even if the couple sleeps separately.

Sleeping in separate beds may not bring every couple closer, but for some, it may be the change they need.

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Twovet Comforter Size Chart
   Width  Length  Fill (thin) Fill (thick)
   Queen  92" 88" 20 ounces 40 ounces
King 107" 92" 24 ounces 48 ounces